During the dog days of summer, the idea of putting anything wool on my body (much less a COAT, AGH!) sounds only slightly less painful than getting shanked.  After emerging from the subway (a.k.a. the sixth circle of hell) yesterday, I almost physically assaulted someone carrying a cup of hot coffee.  WHAT LEVEL OF SADOMASOCHISM COMPELLS SOMEONE TO PURCHASE HOT COFFEE AND THEN PARADE IT AROUND IN FRONT OF OTHER HUMANS WHEN IT’S LITERALLY 800 DEGREES OUT?

So, in an effort not to commit the same war crime as my aforementioned coffee-bearing friend (read: enemy), I will ask that anyone who is currently reading this on the subway or any similar inferno-like place kindly stop reading and pick things back up once you’re in the safety of a thoroughly air-conditioned locale.

Everybody good?

Mmmk, because we’re about to talk about outerwear (especially COATS).  BUT STAY WITH ME ON THIS ONE.  It’s arguably the best category of the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale, but by virtue of the fact that most of these beauties are still fully in stock, people (myself included) are clearly overlooking this section due to the current Dante’s Inferno weather situation discussed above.

So here’s the deal: Crank up your air-conditioner to MAX HI and right when the room is starting to reach teeth-chattering temps, submerge your entire head into an ice bath for three to five minutes (pro tip: bring a snorkel so you can breathe).  Upon exiting (or, once you regain consciousness), come back to this post and try to tell me the lineup of gorgeous coats and jackets below don’t look INCREDIBLE.

I’m telling you, you will be high-fiving yourself all fall and winter long for snagging some of these glorious outerwear options at their current sale price.  Remember, this sale isn’t the dregs of seasons past that didn’t sell, this is all brand new fall merchandise that hasn’t even hit other retailers yet and will be popping back up to full price on August 7th (LESS THAN ONE WEEK, FRIENDS).  So get cracking!