Due to my chronic tendency to work too much and plan ahead too little, I am the (self-proclaimed) QUEEN of panicked last-minute shopping. Let me give you a little insight into my annual holiday shopping process:
November 26 – December 22: In search of gift inspiration, I’ll occasionally peruse lame online holiday gift guides during lunch breaks, and/or when in desperate need of an excuse to not clean my apartment. This generally results in a complete lack of inspiration and the whispering of expletives under my breath every time one of these guides offers the ground-breaking suggestion that I buy the men in my life a (*drumroll*) TIE.
December 22, 8:41 PM: I realize I still haven’t found any good gifts, and frantically attempt to order random, awful things online. The expletives are now growing louder.
December 22, 10:27 PM: After settling on a slew of relatively terrible gifts, I quickly realize that next-day shipping is no longer available. It’s officially too late. Expletives are now being hurled at the screen of my laptop with noteworthy volume and vigor.
December 22, 10:29 PM: I call customer service and begin fruitless attempts at bribing unfortunate customer service representatives to help me. He/she reminds me that he/she does not, in fact, control UPS shipping capabilities. We exchange pleasantries and hang up. So many expletives.
December 22, 10:38 PM: I begin the age-old debate of whether to fake my own death, or do the truly unthinkable: try to shop in-store (GASP!) the next day. %$*#&*@#*&^%$#!!!!!!
December 23, 10:00 AM: With a cocktail of emotion that can only be likened to that of someone walking to stand before a firing squad, I do the Christmas Walk of Shame—the act of entering brick-and-mortar stores (apparently these still exist) on December 23rd and/or 24th to search for gifts because I am a thoughtless, disorganized, failure of a human being. I begin the process of sifting through the hapless dregs still available in store (a.k.a. the products that all of humanity has heretofore rejected), becoming increasingly creative with expletives as standard-issue expletives are growing insufficient.
December 25, 8:30 AM: I’m voted out of the family. In true A Christmas Story-style, I weave a tapestry of obscenities that as far as we know is still hanging in space over Lake Michigan. My mother is in cardiac arrest. Once properly defibrillated, she begins calling mothers of childhood friends asking who taught me such language while my brothers heave me out the back door and into a snow bank by the collar of my bathrobe. My brothers then high-five each other while my father, inconsolable, sits by the fire with his head in his hands.
This year, I’m thrilled to report that after much bribing (and just a smidge of blackmail), I have successfully convinced my family to re-instate me as a probationary member. As such, I have taken appropriate measures to ensure that I do not fall back into bad habits, and have devised a foolproof plan of attack to secure proper gifts for my nearest and dearest while avoiding the aforementioned annual ritual of self-destruction.
So here’s strategy numero uno: There is no man, woman or child who doesn’t love slippers. Even those who own slippers already are always amped to get a cozy new pair. The Ugg slippers I’m wearing today are the THIRD pair of Ugg Dakota slippers I’ve bought from Nordstrom. I’m on my third pair not because the slippers are lacking in quality, but because I wear them more than I can admit in writing to you without looking like a crazy person (making the giant leap that you haven’t concluded that already). Check out more of my cozy slipper recommendations for him and her as follows:
SLIPPERS FOR HER
SLIPPERS FOR HIM
ALSO, slippers are a really great gift because typically, the recipient is sliding those puppies on immediately after opening gifts, which means they’re likely going to be lounging in them for the rest of Christmas Day. This gives the gift giver the priceless opportunity to go to her brothers and say, “Hmm, looks like my gift to mom is a pretty big hit since she’s had her slippers on all day. Where’s that cookbook you got her again? Oh still under a pile of rubble next to the Christmas tree? Don’t worry, I’m sure she’ll love placing it on a decorative shelf in the kitchen someday.”
Not that I would ever seize the opportunity to torment my brothers like that. I’m just listing it as a compelling option, in the interest of full disclosure.
If you don’t feel that slippers are quite the right gift to give, there are two other fantastic, live-saving options at your disposal for any and all last-minute gifts that do not involve entering the witness protection program:
(1) Nordstrom offers the AMAZING option to order online and pick-up in-store. This means the aforementioned Christmas Walk of Shame can be done in the comfort and privacy of your own home, only requiring a quick drive-by to pick up the gifts that you’ve procured online an hour or two later once a lovely Nordstrom sales associate has done the dirty work for you. GENIUS. Just click the “Shop Your Store” button at the top of any list of products to filter the products that are available immediately at your local Nordstrom.
(2) e-Gifting! You can buy a gift online and Nordstrom emails the details to the recipient (check out all the details HERE). This option has all the convenience of giving a gift card, with the personal touch of a specific gift. It shows you’ve picked out something special for the recipient, but gives them the option to either have the actual item sent in the mail or they can choose to receive a gift card for the full amount instead. This eliminates pesky in-person returns for the recipient if the size or style isn’t right.
Cheers to these last frantic days of holiday shopping!!
Thanks to Nordstrom and ShopStyle for partnering on this post!